


AfterStory: Broken Hearts

by WitchySkies123



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Complete, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Haruno Sakura-centric, Insecurity, POV Haruno Sakura, Possessive Behavior, Romance, Strength, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:01:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26295289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchySkies123/pseuds/WitchySkies123
Summary: The war was over, but Sakura had long changed. She no longer wanted to be defined by her love for Sasuke and now it was her time to leave. Will Konoha regain their lost kunoichi?*angst**romance**what ifs**eventual romance**a bit possessive*SakuraXSasuke
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 7
Kudos: 82





	1. AfterStory: The Weakest Link

Chapter One: “The Weakest Link”

“I will smile on the surface as the flowers do,  
But my roots lay in dry ground.”  
 **—A Reason to Leave—**

………………………………………….

………………………………………….

“Excuse me, Haruno-Sensei?” One of the young medical students came up to me - Ah, it’s Ami! “Before you go, please have this!” She handed over a large pink gift bag. “These are the best treats of the Rain Village!! I’m going to miss you very much.” She bowed. “Thank you for your care the past year!”

“My, my. You’re very welcome, Ami.” I took the bag with a broad smile. “These treats look delicious, thank you. The last year has been a real pleasure working with you. I know the hospital will be in good hands with you around and I look forward to hearing about your progress.”

“Thank you, Haruno-Sensei!!” Ami rubbed her eyes and sniffled. “I should be going back to class, but I didn’t want to miss you! Do you really have to leave?”

“There, there.” I patted her shoulder. Ami has been a real darling ever since I came to her village a year ago. Each year, I spent time in multiple villages to help spread the medical teachings of Tsunade-shishou from Konoha and it looked like my work finally made a difference. There were many promising students who will lead the future. “It’s time for me to go, I’m afraid. But with what I’ve seen, you will soar higher without me hovering over your shoulder. You’re a brilliant medic nin and I am proud to have had the honor to teach you. Work hard and I’m sure we’ll meet again in the future.” 

“I will!” Ami sniffled once more and gave me a big hug. “I’ll be sure to write you!”

“You better!” I laughed and squeezed her back. I’m sure going to miss these days, but Konoha was waiting. 

Ami waved bye as she ran off down the corridor. I stored her gifts in a seal and dropped my hospital badge at HR before leaving the hospital I called home for the past year. No matter how many times I did this, I never got used to the bittersweet sense of nostalgia. Soon, these bright young people will lead their lives and save many — if I helped them on that journey even a bit, my life finally had real worth. This amabassador mission only cemented my resolve. As I looked back at the hospital and the village, I smiled and softly murmurred to myself, “I don’t mind doing this for the rest of my life. Just me and helping pave the way for the future generation. This is enough. I don’t need anything more.”

I can finally honestly say I was happy — no inferiority complex, no limit to what I could with my future, and no Sasuke. I was finally over that part of my past. 

On the way back to my apartment, many people waved to me and I was already starting to miss this place. As I looked up at clear blue skies and then at the smiling people, “Four years went by so fast…” For the past four years, I would travel and help people on the road while I taught at the hospitals. It was a free lifestyle centered around work that mattered — it was exactly the kind of lifestyle I needed. If Tsunade-shishou hadn’t threatened me, I was going to extend my mission another four years. I had already secretly applied for an extension through a connection I had in another department knowing Shishou would reject it, but somehow Naruto found out and took over! Rejected. Ugh.

…I guess Naruto and Tsunade-shishou teamed up. Sigh.

“Konoha…huh…” I wonder how everyone was doing? I heard Naruto and Hinata were dating and Ino hooked up with Sai and — wait, why do I only know love life updates?! That was all I ever got in the letters — what were they thinking? 

My mind automatically ran to thoughts of Sasuke, but I stopped myself. No. Sasuke is probably already reviving his clan or found a woman of strong caliber at least. His matters didn’t concern me anymore.

I just want to live in peace and help people where I’m needed. Traveling for the rest of my life doesn’t sound half-bad…Why couldn’t they just let me be? I’ve come a long way from that insecure Sakura who was addicted to love and acceptance. I was a new person. And one way or another, I’ll leave. It’s only a matter of time before Tsunade-shishou and Naruto give in.

I closed my eyes. 

It started four years ago…

…………………

………………..

………………..

Their words ran through my head:

“Sorry, I have plans. We can train another time, but…You are fine just the way you are.”  
“You can go back and get some rest, you’ve already healed everybody. We’ll fight from here on out.”  
“I’m sorry.”

Nobody trusted me to keep up. Nobody trusted me. 

“Stop it, Sakura. You’re being unfair to them. They trust you.” The rebellious ache in my heart acted up again and the depression sunk back in. Shit. I leaned against the sink. It was going to be another episode tonight, which wasn’t a surprise as it had been happening every night for the past few years. People always told me the same words over and over again. I know. No matter how strong I get, I will never compare to my teammates. I was trusted…but I wasn’t needed. Not like how Konoha needed Naruto. Or how Naruto and Sasuke needed each other. I was always in the back watching over them like a support healer.

I clutched the edge of the sink until it squeaked sharply. I quickly let go and checked the damage — okay, the metal just bent a bit. That’s fine. I’ll just owe the landlady more damage fees. I sighed and splattered the cold water on my face, watching as the blood washed away. “It’s finally over.” We had finally won against the Akatsuki and the gods and Konoha was safe — well, I doubted this was the real end, but I am happy for the hard-won peace. Thanks to Katsuyu, I already replenished myself after the battle. Full energy and wounds healed! In an hour, it will be time to leave. I’ve done my duty now I have to go.

We had just won the battle, which made it the perfect time to leave. With everyone celebrating and then rebuilding the village, they won’t miss a lone medic on a mission. Especially now that Naruto will be focused on his hokage studies and Sasuke is reflecting in his cell. Naruto can finally say we brought the last member of team seven back. Everything was going to plan. Finding and bringing back Sasuke had been our mission for a long time now and now that he’s back…I was free.

Contrary to belief, I didn’t want to find Sasuke because I loved him.   
I wanted to find him because Konoha and Naruto will need him — of that, I had a strong feeling. My love had been cut off a long time ago. I don’t want to live such a humiliating life — a fool in love until she’s tossed away. And in the shinobi world, it was only a sign of weakness. The gossip about a girl playing ninja to be near her crush had plagued me for years and I never want to return to those years. No matter how good I got at tests and chakra control, those whispers didn’t care. 

I wish I didn’t care. But no matter how strong I became, no matter how many boulders I crush and patients I saved, I still felt like the broken little girl playing ninja. It was my greatest shame.

A tear fell from the stranger in the bathroom mirror and she forced a smile on her face. I saw myself in the mirror, but nowadays, it felt like looking at a passerby. That tired woman in the mirror only gazed back at me accusingly. As if it were my fault we ended up like this. But who was I kidding, of course it was my fault. 

I sighed and shut off the faucet, throwing my clothes on the floor as I walked to the living room and laid out on the floor completely naked. “I should be content…” I took in the cold wood floor and let the moon cover me. Senseless tears slid down my cheeks as I did my nightly ritual and let it go. This will be the last time I can do this for a while as it was a long journey waiting for me ahead.

It had been this way for several years now. At some point while training under Tsunade-shishou and searching for clues to his whereabouts, I realized I was never going to be much in Sasuke’s eyes. Until we fought together in the war, he never recognized me as his equal. Only Naruto met his eyes and I shamefully resented them both. Like a child, I resented feeling third place. Feeling like a background character to their lives.

When Sasuke left the village.  
When he never looked back.  
When he almost killed me.  
And when I almost died trying to make sure he made it through the portal to come back from that strange empty world…  
At each point, I slowly came to accept that I was just relying on him to come back like a silly puppy. And that I just wanted validation from someone I loved…Though I doubted whether that feeling was love in the first place or a desire to be accepted. As the weakest link of Konoha’s famous Team Seven with the Uchiha prodigy and Jinchuuriki, I knew what the gossip was about the “normal” kunoichi. 

And as for Naruto…I couldn’t look him in the eyes sometimes. My regrets weighed heavy on my shoulders everytime I looked into those clear blue eyes. I wished I treated him better as a child. Wished I could have saw beyond the adults telling me not to be near them, saw that it was ostracization and wished that instead of being afraid of getting in trouble, of being abandoned myself, that I could have made him feel less alone. I wished I never did to him what others did to me. I wished I was wiser and saw through my own shallow pain.

But it seems I’m still that fool. Until Tsunade-shishou took me in, I could never hold anyone’s gaze without trying to make up for my lack of achievement and strength. Even now, I am covered in my own self-pity like a child who couldn’t make any friends all over again and was bullied. Being alone, being quiet, being ugly…and faking my happiness in front of my parents who didn’t understand why I wanted to be a kunoichi. Be more than a simple smiling child in the village who would be content with marriage and bearing children. I was yearning for any spark in my life that wasn’t sadness that the moment I had a crush on Sasuke, I made him my drug. The gateway to a deeper feeling. The vision I could aspire to. If he recognized me, then I felt happy. It would prove I had what it took to be a kunoichi. I mixed up a strong urge to be strong and my newfound crush to be love…and like it was a drug, I didn’t question it. I didn’t question my only motivation as someone who didn’t find joy in living for herself. After all, what joy was there to be an ugly lonely girl in the village?

The whole of youth was just idiotic. I was a very stupid, depressed child. Really, I should have gone to therapy instead of crushing on poor Sasuke who had to deal with my heavy feelings. 

And I paid for it. While I was being silly and only making it to average strength, Naruto and Sasuke had already gone leaps ahead of me…and soon began only to see each other as the real Team Seven under Kakashi-Sensei.

Now, seeing the bond between Naruto and Sasuke, the way they saw each other as rivals and equals…I couldn’t cut in. When they both charged at each other to fight to the death and ended up losing their arms as a result, I finally learned my lesson. When they both ignored my cries to stop and only had each other in their gaze…I stopped fooling myself that I mattered in their eyes as much I wished to be.

They were willing to die fighting against each other, but they weren’t willing to listen to my pleas. I might as well been the air, invisible and helping no one. Even though we were Team Seven, I would never share the same bond as they do with each other. And honestly, I deserved it. 

So at the end of the battle, when they managed to survive each other, when I stepped up to heal their wounds before they died from blood loss, I could only cry. This was my fate in the village. I can only heal them, but I can never battle them, never stop them and never be the light in their darkness. 

“I’m sorry.” For the second time, Sasuke apologized to me. I only kept silent. The men kept breaking themselves apart to quell their demons, so I must be the calm one. I must be the healer. It was clear in this battle that I am the third wheel out. And I was the one they kept saying sorry to.

Sorry I couldn’t force you to stop?  
Sorry I wasn’t strong enough?  
Sorry you had to rely on me to heal you instead of being on your own?

I could only smile as my heart already disappeared long ago. I know I was being harsh, but the black sore in my heart already took over and not even Naruto’s bright smile could wipe it away. This depression was only a small fraction of the pain that they felt and I knew it. I truly wasn’t worthy of being their friend. I was truly…hateful.

Later, when Naruto had the best confession of his life and went to talk with Hinata, I giggled. I was truly happy for him. He deserved it after working hard for the village all these years. It only made sense that Sasuke would only look at him as his friend — he was a light of hope that I could never compare to. A light of hope I can only be humbled by. Without him, Konoha would be sadder and Sasuke would never come home and I would still be a foolish delusional kunoichi sadly in love.

I had come to learn that if it were only me instead of Naruto waiting in Konoha, he would never return. What Konoha didn’t need was me, they needed Naruto. And my time here had finally run out — everything was at it should be. Konoha didn’t need me, but others around the village would need a medic and a fighter. What I wanted wasn’t love, but the ability to help people and I succeeded. Now I needed to complete my transformation and overcome this need to feel accepted. Once I did that, I am sure I could learn to be happy. Yes…Leaving the village was my only way forward.

I stood up from the floor and put on my clothes. Grabbing my things, I looked back one last time. My affairs were already taken cared of — I gave Naruto a letter saying I was going to be on a mission and that I’d be back and I wrapped up things with my work and Shishou. I’m sure when Naruto gets busy training to be hokage, he won’t have time to worry. Now the only thing I have to do is walk out the door. It was a smooth transition as this plan was in the works for several months now…I didn’t expect to be attacked by the Akatsuki and see Sasuke back so soon, but it worked out. My efforts in slowly detaching myself from Konoha was finally seeing fruit.

I had already made plans with Tsunade yesterday when she found out I could summon Katsuyu and finished the strength of 100 seal that manifested as a diamond on my forehead. She came to congratulate me, but then left with a sad smile after I told her my plans, using the high of battle to get her to agree so fast. I almost wanted to take it back, but I held on. I can’t keep reacting from my feelings or it’d be young Sakura all over. So I proposed — As soon as the battle was over, I will act an ambassador of Konoha and help the other ninja villages with medic needs to boost our alliance. The memory was still fresh as I still couldn’t believe I was going through with it so fast…

While my comrades began to clean up after the battle damage, I apologized to her, but in the end she relented to my selfish request disguised as a gesture of goodwill. I owed her everything. I bowed to her and said, “Thank you, Shishou.”

At the time, Shishou looked shocked, but she hugged me hard and whispered, “Sakura…Come back whenever you want.” 

“I will.” I squeezed her back. “I know Konoha will be in your’s, and in Kakashi-Sensei’s, good hands.” I was already told of his upcoming promotion and felt glad. Sensei had his hands full with us and my slow growth didn’t help with the pressure. I really owed it to him for taking me in as a student. Useless Sakura finally grew to be strong. 

I took in a deep breath and held back the sting of pointless tears. Then I shut the front door. Now that Sasuke is back, I finally atoned for the sins of my youth. Sasuke can be Naruto’s rock and in return find a home in him. Those lonely boys from my youth were finally reunited. My mission was now finished — the two can finally feel at home.

I left my apartment and sped through the village. I stopped by my parents’ home and they cried in my arms. I bowed to my parents and left them a small gift and some money just in case. 

It took a while before I found myself at the gate. Looking back one last time, I sighed. Konoha will be fine without me. And now that I’m actually leaving…I am truly grateful. 

Naruto will have Hinata and Sasuke. Konoha will have him. The village is complete. There was only one regret.

“Goodbye….Sasuke. I’m sorry I didn’t see you at the cells, but I’m sure Naruto will bust you out of there for your war efforts.”

I will cut out that old Sakura Haruno who couldn’t stand on the stage as an equal for all her big words. I will live my life more humbly and authentically. It will be the last time I see Konoha for the next four years. What I’ll do after this mission, I still didn’t know, but…In four years, Konoha will be different. And so will I.

And so, I took my first step toward a new path. 

From now on, I’ll live in service to others and hopefully find the strength to be truly strong. Hopefully…I can learn how to live my life properly.

Strong to live on my own with no regrets.

  
……………..

……………

………….

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

This is a suuuper short series (like 3-4 chapters)— What if Sakura had mentally changed in a different way when she watched her teammates’ backs over and over again. What if she wasn’t the loving type of woman who would wait for Sasuke to love her — but was making plans to leave on her own after getting him home? This is set after the big ending battle (I confess it’s been a while since I watched it so the details are rough).

Also way more hurt/angst than my other works so there’s that. I’m trying to practice first POV so it’s a long journey…Can I just download writing skills of the gods?

Ok! See ya next time!

WitchySkies


	2. AfterStory: Bittersweet Home

Chapter Two: “Bittersweet Home”

“I love you, except even love fails.  
So let me run with the wolves and follow the wind’s trail.”  
 **—On No Attachments—**

………………………………………….

………………………………………….

Back to the Present — After a long journey, Sakura finally comes home. 

………………….

………………….

“I’m home.” Despite Tsunade-shishou’s best efforts, I’m still planning on extending my mission. Or possible changing my kunoichi status to civilian if need be. There was always more than one way to achieve my goals ~

I ran up to the gate and unsurprisingly a certain group of people were already lining up like an interrogation squad. I gulped - well, it was still awkward…”H-Hey! You guys are looking good!” I dropped from the trees and landed right in front of the group with a nervous laugh. “Ahaha!”

“SAKURA-CHAAAAN!!!!” A blur of orange slammed right into me.

“Ugh!” Naruto cried as he hugged me tightly. “N-Naruto! A-Air! I need air!”

“Sorry Sakura-chan! But it’s been four years! And you tried to EXTEND it!! Don’t you like me anymore?!” He wailed so hard I almost forgot he was the hokage’s successor already.

“Naruto…” I smiled sadly before rubbing his head hard until his spikes became a bird’s nest. “I missed you too. It’s good to see you. And when are you going to propose to Hinata?!” I laughed when his face turned red.

“Sakura, welcome home!” Oops. I forgot where we were. Grinning, I turned to face Tsunade-Shishou and she came to hug me, too. “It’s good to have you home, student.”

“Yes, it is. About that —“

“NO.” Both of them cut me off before I could finish my sentence. “You aren’t leaving us so soon!”

Hmph. We’ll see! I pouted but returned their hugs with a laugh. I have to confess it felt good to be back in their arms.

“Sakura!!” Next my parents came running from the village and latched their arms around me. 

“Mom. Dad. I’m home.” They jumped me and I almost ran out of air again. “G-Gah!”

After more tearful hugs, I finally was released. After a chat, Shishou had to go back to the office and my parents also had to run back to work so there was only Naruto and I left. We took the time to catch up as we strolled down the familiar streets. Naruto explained the others were at work, but would stop by my apartment when they could. In fact, they were planning a big dinner out when I got settled.

“I understand! It’s no issue. I’ll stop by their places actually so they don’t have to worry about dropping by my house. I’m sure Ino is busy with the shop and Sai is training for a mission, right? Look, I’ll let them know so don’t fret, Naruto. I’m fine.” I patted his back.

“Yeah…Sakura-chan?” Naruto hesitated before looking into my eyes. “Do you…Will you also visit Sasuke, then?”

“Sasuke? Sure, why not. Is he released yet?”

“Yeah. He’s still under watch, but it’s a formality. The Uchiha compound got destroyed in the last battle so he lives on his own now. It will be fun to have team seven reunite again!” Naruto gave an awkward smile.

“Naruto, I’m really looking forward to seeing team seven reunite.” I smiled big — and I meant every word. “Whenever Sasuke’s not busy, we can grab a bite to eat — all three of us.”

I guess Naruto noticed how I took out the -kun from Sasuke because he looked like a kicked puppy. It was like watching a child react at the news of his parents’ divorce. So I changed the subject. “How are things with you and Hinata?”

And like magic, the happy Naruto I knew came back. I smiled as I listened and felt simply content hearing how happy he was. Everything was back to normal. It was great. I guess I could stick around a bit before I had to leave…before they got used to me. 

“I’m home.” _For now._

…………………………….

…………………………….

…………………………..

Over the next couple of weeks, I sorted out my apartment, got the materials needed to prepare for my station at Konoha Hospital and then chatted with everyone who couldn’t come to the gate. Ino was teaching Sai about the shop when she spotted me and then she invited Hinata and Tenten to have a girl’s lunch. Kakashi-Sensei stopped by my place afterward and suddenly I didn’t feel like teacher and student, but I felt like his peer, his comrade. We had a good laugh, too. It seemed the time I had away really did some good and it didn’t feel awkward to call him simply Kakashi.

The more I met with old friends, the more I felt the changes. I had made my name as a prominent medic nin so a lot of the hospital recognized me as that first and Tsunade’s apprentice second. Even the rascal Konohamaru had grown to such a fine young man. It was hard to imagine him as the same boy learning sexy no jutsu from Naruto.

“The village has really grown.” Smiling, I went grocery shopping. By this point, I had met up with everybody I knew…except one person. I really didn’t want to, but Naruto really wanted us to reunite…Surely I could meet up once? It was just embarrassing. Seeing Sasuke reminded me my twelve year old self. I could crawl in a hole and die. I’m sure I’ll see him another day.

Thud. I ran into something hard. Now that I was in a safe zone, I let my guard down. I cursed.

“Sorry.” I snapped out of my reverie and bent down to pick up tomatoes that had fallen. In a flash, I picked them up in my hands and looked to return them to the owner — only to feel my entire body chill in mortification. Shit. “Ah! S-Sasuke?!” Fix your face, me, fix it! Don’t be awkward, don’t be awkwaaaard!!

“Hn. Hello Sakura.” Sure enough, Sasuke stood before me and bowed his head. “It’s been a while.” And as ever, his stoic face didn’t waver at seeing me. Looking at him now, he seemed calmer, more settled maybe. His hair grew out and he didn’t have that rampant fire in his eyes. In fact, he looked like a man of the world who had come to settle down and it only made him more appealing. 

I quickly dropped the tomatoes in his hands and bowed as I rambled, “Sorry about that, Sasuke! You certainly have a lot of tomatoes, huh. Your favorite, right?” Annnnd there I go sounding like a stalker. Better get outta here before I let myself blush like a preteen. “Well, if that’s all —“ 

“Sakura.” Sasuke held my shoulder. “Do you have time to talk?”

“Hm? Um,” I blanked out. What was happening? “I have a bit of time if you need to talk.” Someone kill me!

“I see. Well, I’ll see you tonight. Sorry to have interrupted your shopping, Sakura.” He nodded before leaving.

“…” I stood there in shock before I realized something…Eh? Tonight? But where? Don’t tell me he knew where I lived unless Naruto told him. Oh god, maybe Naruto was forcing him to hang out with me in order to revive our Team Seven-ness and Sasuke agreed out of obligation. That made a lot more sense. Could someone just kill me and end this humiliation?

So it was Naruto’s idea. I forced myself to relax and took a deep breath. “I’m sure after the obligatory chat, he’ll hurry to leave, then.” Everything was going to be okay.

………………………..

……………………..

……………………….

Everything was not okay.

It was just supposed to be a quick chat and then Sasuke would run off…So what was he still doing here?! Somehow, the ‘short talk’ turned into dinner turned into a late night stroll. And judging from the curious glances from around the village, I was sure rumors were going to spread again. 

I hate Konoha’s rumor mill. It had the speed of light and the reasoning of the popularity behind that ero book Icha Icha’s Paradise. 

And so we strolled down the park like a pair of secret lovers, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Seeing as how the usually avoidant shinobi was holding true to his sense of duty and accompanying me home, I could only smile and keep silent. Let’s not make this walk more embarrassing than it needed it to be. Fucking Konoha rumor mill was going to have a riot tomorrow. I recognized that takoyaki stand lady as a main perpetrator of the underground gossip network! Just stay quiet Sasuke and we’ll survive tomorrow. I didn’t trust these trees — who knew which fan of his would be spying? Thanks to my expired membership, I learned never to underestimate a Sasuke fan club member.

“So Sakura, how has your travels been like? I heard you went to different villages as a medic and mentor.” Despite my attempt at telepathy to shut him up, Sasuke struck up a conversation.

Seriously. Did someone poison Sasuke? “It’s been great. Meeting new people and helping others out there has given me great purpose. I think it’s a great way to share our knowledge and represent Konoha so I’m going to be heading back on the road soon enough.”

Suddenly, Sasuke stopped and his eyes narrowed as he lowered his voice with an edge to his tone, “Did they approve you? I’m sure Naruto and Tsunade won’t let you go so easily. And where would you go?”

“Huh? Well, it’s not official, but it’s only a matter of time, you know. I’m sure you’re getting sick of rumors trying to put us together too, right? If you have the chance, try to help me convince Naruto, would you? He listens to you.” I scratched my nose. Did Sasuke have something strange for breakfast? He’s moodier than I remember. Well, not that I knew him that well. Maybe I was just overthinking all this. Time to divert the convo! “Anyway, it’s in the works. But enough about me. How about you? Find a lucky lady to achieve your mission?” 

“Mission?”

“Oh you know.” I gave a stupid wink. “First day of the academy you mentioned to revive your clan. So whose the lady? Is it Karin? Ooh, maybe a cute civilian?” I giggled as I prayed. If I annoy him with the love talk, he might change back to the silent Sasuke I knew. Then I could get home in one piece.

“No. Nobody.” Then he fell quiet and looked down. After years of studying his stoic face, I could tell he looked a bit…sad. Huh. Must have broke up? Oh well, I certainly won’t ask about it!

“…Ah.” Okay, so I wanted this result, but why did I feel like a bully now? 

“…” We both remained silent as we walked until I could see my front door. I stopped at the outskirts of my apartment and bowed to Sasuke.

“Thank you for walking me home. Until next time.”

“Hn. Have a good day, Sakura.” 

I smiled and turned to leave when he caught my shoulder. “Uh…Sasuke? Do you have a question?” I gave my best teacher’s “irked yet concerned look” after honing it with four years of trial and error. The key was to smile slightly and crunch the brows just so…and wait. It had never failed me.

“…No, it’s fine. Good night, Sakura. See you later.”

“Good night.” Bingo! It worked. 

As soon as I entered my room, I collapsed to the floor and gave a great big sigh. “Okay. I’ve officially met everyone I needed to in Konoha.” I rolled over to my back and closed my eyes in relief. 

At least that will be the last I see of him.

………………………..

……………………..

……………………….

Over the next couple of weeks, I was free to fully focus on my work. Everyone was busy with their lives as well, but I made time to see Ino for lunch once in a while. Like today. The best part was I didn’t have to run into Sasuke anymore now that I discovered a new store that delivered groceries for a small fee. And since Sasuke didn’t work at the hospital, there was no chance we would have that miserable encounter again. It would make it easier to live in Konoha without having my body react the way it did.

Tch. Even now, this traitorous body still blushed. If I didn’t master my poker face, I’d be humiliated to my bones. So much talk on getting over him and the moment we run into each other, I almost fell for that fake spark. Gods help me. It didn’t make sense.

“I need to think of it clinically. Biologically. Women around my age had baby fever and also had higher needs. I haven’t had a partner yet…Ino was right.” My experienced friend sat me down the other day and expressed her concern over my love life. Even if I had no intention of settling down, it was true that sexual activity could raise my morale even if only to lubricate my joints ha. I know she was just trying to get me to leave the house and the hospital to have fun, but I went along with her logic. “Maybe this reaction to Sasuke was simply because I needed to get laid. Honestly, thinking of it like that was less humiliating than admitting I still had feelings.”

“Sakura-san! We need your help!” A nurse called out from the other room.

“Coming!” I ran out.

Nevermind that. I’ll think about it later. 

After that was a long series of helping patients, training new students and helping with research on antidotes. The work was long and hard, but fulfilling. And before I knew it, it had already gone close to 6pm. With a stretch of my arms, I placed my white coat on the back of my chair and left the hospital.

Suddenly, a tall man with long red hair in a low ponytail came up to me after work and bowed his head. “H-Hello S-Sakura!”

I blinked. Ah, he was one of my jonin patients that was discharged yesterday. He had broken his arm and had a rare poisoning incident from his last mission if I recall. I ended up being called to provide an antidote. “Hello Akira. How are you feeling? Do you need me to check anything?” 

“N-No, um, I-I have a serious question to ask, b-but don’t feel obligated to say yes! Um…Do you have time to talk for five minutes?” 

Hm? It looked like he was getting a fever…I went on my tip-toes and placed the back of my hand on his forehead. His soft hair was quite fluffy when I brushed against it. “You have a fever.”

“A-Ano, th-th-that’s not it. Please! If you could come with me!” He bowed deeply.

“If it’s that serious, I can listen to your worries.” Maybe the poison had a severe effect he couldn’t say in public. “Come, let’s go to that bench over there and talk.” I pointed towards a bench in a secluded part of the hospital’s gardens.

“Thank you! You’re the best, Sakura!” He had such a silly grin on his face that I giggled. 

For some reason, I felt like someone was watching us, but when I observed the area, I couldn’t catch a glimpse of anyone nor their chakra presence. Either they were really good or I was imagining things. And what kind of highly skilled shinobi wanted to stalk a medic nin smelling of sanitizer? 

At the bench, Akira took my hand genlty and confessed, “Sakura, I know you only know me as your patient, but over the last week I’ve fallen in love with you. Would you please go out with me?” Akira bowed his head and I fell into a fluster.

“E-Eh?! Go out?”

“Yes! You are the kindest, most beautiful person I have ever met and your smile stole my heart from the very time you stepped foot in the room! Please, if it’s too much to take in now, please tell me your answer tomorrow. We don’t have to think about marriage or anything. I just simply want to be by your side and explore these feelings further.” Akira bowed his head again and stiffly stood up. “I will be waiting here for you after work!” And before I could answer him, he sped away.

“…” I held my cheeks in my hands as my face felt hot. This…This was the first time I’ve ever been confessed to! I - What should I do?! And while it didn’t match to when I loved Sasuke, my heart beat just a little bit harder.

A large part of me was going to reject him, but deep down a small part said why not. After my public love debacle that made up my youth, I certainly wasn’t going for anything serious…but I didn’t want that part of my life to dictate my present any longer. Not after all the work I put into feeling myself again. Now that I actually had my first confession, I was curious about non-serious relationships. Usually I had been the one reaching out, confessing, holding on. 

I rubbed my cheek as I felt its burn. Now it was my turn to be held on to, if only for a while.

While I held my face in my hands, that strong feeling of someone’s gaze triggered me, but once more — nothing.

“I’m probably getting flustered by that confession to the point of paranoia.” I sighed, but secretly I felt a little happy. It was nice to be seen as a woman sometimes….

With a soft sigh, I picked up my bag and started my walk back home. Maybe…it was okay to have a little fun.

But why did I have a sense of deja vu?

Later on that night, I leaned off my balcony and stared over the bustling village turned small city. More and more people immigrated to the great Konoha village who held the mighty legendary warriors such as the kistune Jinchuuriki and Uchiha and governed by the last Hatake genius. 

“Soon, this town will become a great city with new technologies and talents the shinobi world has yet to see. The old Konoha is gone and the new one will be greater than before.” I let the wind pull at my hair as I thought about my next steps. And about Akira’s confession. 

Everything was going to plan…but didn’t I want to also change myself? Did I agree to be a loveless martyr? No! I shouldn’t let my past failures take away a chance at exploring an unexplored side of my life. Like this city, I am not a child anymore. Akira reminded me of passion and youth and being dedicated to my cause didn’t mean depriving myself of sensual connection as Ino so eloquently put it.

I smiled as I felt the attraction of being desired pull at my heart — the attraction of exploring myself as a woman. And to the bustling city, I softly whispered a confession, “I think I would like to explore these feelings with Akira.”

“…!” Suddenly I felt a spike of chakra, but before I could recognize or track it down, it swiftly disappeared. I got into a battle stance as I waited for an attack — but none came. 

First the sense of eyes this afternoon and now this…both times nobody attacked. It could be anbu sent to make sure I don’t run away. But there was no killing intent. They would have to know to conceal their chakra better than me…Hmm…”Forget it. They don’t want to kill me so I’ll find out sooner or later.”

After a couple years traveling on the road between visiting villages, having people track or spy on me was nothing unusual. They were talented to escape my notice, but that was all. Since they didn’t attack, they weren’t a threat or were waiting for a moment. In any case…

A dark smile slid on my face as I cracked my knuckles. “If they try anything else, I’ll just crush them.” 

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The next day, I waited by the bench for Akira. And sure enough, the cute jonin walked over. 

“What’s wrong?” I immediately grew concerned. He was pale even shaking. “Is it poison? Let me take you inside.”

“N-Nothing like that.” Akira waved his hands frantically. “Really! I-I just…I’m sorry, Sakura!!” He bowed deeply as he cried out, “Please…Please ignore my selfish request yesterday!”

“Huh? What do you mean? If it’s about your confession —“

“Please! I can see now that I have no chance and only wish to admire your beauty from afar. As it turns out, I’ll be sent on a long mission so I can’t shackle you to my curious feelings. I beg your forgiveness!!” He kept his head down with a slight tremble.

Did…Did I scare him? Oh no, he has a mission so he felt bad about confessing? Then why was he shaking?! I bent down and clasped my hand on his shoulder, kneeing so my eyes met his confused gaze. “Akira. It’s fine, I understand. Just tell me why you are shaking, okay? I want to make sure the poison wasn’t affecting you.”

“S-S-Sakura!” Akira teared up as he hugged me. “I’m sorry. It’s not poison or anything, I promise! I’m just shaking because I’m scared of…of hurting your feelings. I really like you but —“

“I get it. And I would have liked to explore these feelings if only to see, but I understand. Your mission comes first.” Oh thank god it wasn’t anything with his health. Still, it was a pity about the mission. 

“Y…You wanted to try things out?” In a daze, Akira held my face with a heavy blush across his face and I giggled. This was getting fun and there was no stress, no heavy implications. Just two people who wanted to try things out. This was…something I never had with Sasuke. 

“Yes.” I smiled gently as I held his hands. This time, I had the upperhand. “So if you —“

“Oh, I —“ Suddenly his face paled again and he yelped, “I better go home! Thank you for your considerate feelings, I only wish we had met sooner.” And once again, before I could even say a word, he vanished in a poof of smoke.

“…” This whole sexual exploration idea was harder to implement than I imagined.

With a tired sigh, I ran my fingers through my hair and took out my phone. “Like hell I’m drinking alone tonight. My first confession and he disappears in smoke. In so many ways. I should just get Ino to hook me up after all and stop being stubborn.”

Suddenly a familiar presence came from behind and a low voice called out just behind me. I almost dropped my phone.

**“Long time no see, Sakura.”**

I turned around to narrow black eyes that, for the first time since I came back, looked ready to tear me apart. “Sasuke?” 

…What the hell was Sasuke doing here?

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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Hiya!

So had to try angst and get yandere ish vibes. This is a very short work. Done in the next two chapters if all goes to plan. Feeling under the weather so had to write something to match hahaha.

Okay, please review and let me know if the angsty part or the tension did it’s job or not.

And have a good day.

I really hope its just a small stomachache. God. Give me the stomach of Naruto and Choji. Or Hinata actually. 

Until next time!

—WitchySkies


	3. AfterStory: The Chase

  
**Chapter Three: “Sudden Changes”**

“If To Love You Is To Hate Myself,  
Then I Will Rather Not Love At All.”  
 **—Sacrifices and Second Chances—**

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 **“Long time no see, Sakura.”** Sasuke greeted me with a frown.

I stepped away from him while trying not to let my face heat up. “Ahaha. Hi Sasuke! You saw that, huh? Well, I’m sure you’re busy so I’ll be on my way.” Please let Sasuke had been so injured that he is rushing to see Shizune. Gods, I beg you.

“Did you like him that much?” He took a few steps forward.

“Isn’t that a bit too personal, Sasuke?” I took a few steps back and considered running like a thief in the night. “If you’ll excuse me, I have plans — “

Before I could finish, he gripped my arm and somehow during the confusion, I ended up with my back against a tree. Thud. “Um, Sasuke, if you don’t let go, people are going to assume you were jealous and came to cockblock me.” If subtlety didn’t work, then crude words might. A lesson taken from Jiraiya himself. 

“Then let them assume. They’re not wrong.” Suddenly the man I thought had settled down, the one I thought was content and stoic to a fault…looked at me with the same eyes that fought against Naruto to the death. They were the eyes of a man with something to die for — and pissed the fuck off. “If anything, I was the one being cockblocked as you say.” He smirked.

It took me a second to realize what he said and I couldn’t believe my ears. Damn it, I knew I should never had followed advice from Jiraiya the Pervy Sage. The man wrote Icha Icha Paradise not ‘how to get away from your tempermental teammate.’ 

Sasuke’s face loomed over mine as he broke the tensed silence. His gaze sharp as a knife as he squeezed my arm in his hand. “Sakura, did you forget your feelings for me so soon?”

“My…?” I paused as my past shred through me — the tears, the words, the pathetic confession. And I returned his glare with my own except this time, I took his wrist and pulled his hand off of me with my super strength. “Sasuke,” I seethed. “Are you actually judging me and holding me to a confession I made when I was young and foolish? Are you insinuating that I broke some unspoken promise when you never listened to a word of mine?” 

Seeing no response, I tried my best not to crack his bones and let loose my pent up anger, “Look. I respect you and Naruto and I do want Team Seven to be on good terms again. But don’t step into my personal life — not when it comes to my heart. The feelings I had when I was young died when you left and I don’t hold you to that anymore so don’t judge me neither. You have no right. None. When you and Naruto wanted to fight each other, did I manage to sway you? No. In fact, I even healed your wounds. So, Sasuke-kun,” I inhaled sharply and pushed him back with a snarl, “If you don’t mind, I have a future me to build and present me doesn’t care for being judged by her past. I forgave you and don’t bring it up so you better not try to hold me to the lost promise of a foolish teenage girl.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened as he said, “Sakura, that’s not what I meant —“

“Then what? I guess you’re the reason why Akira ran away? Why? Are you trying to revive your clan and figured maybe I was strong enough to be a candidate to bear your children?” I stopped myself as I took in more deep breaths to settle my panic, “Look. I’m sorry that was too far, but don’t bother with me anymore. Now that it’s all in the open, let’s not pretend to be in the same boat. You have your path, I have mine. And I’d like to keep it like that. I won’t tell Naruto so don’t worry, we can still be good old Team Seven.”

“Sakura!” Sasuke yelled in frustration. “That’s not what I meant at all. You’re not just a woman I want for bearing children. You were never just that. You are the strongest woman I know. One of the strongest shinobi I know.”

“Great. Thanks for finally noticing, but that still gives you no right to mess with Akira.”

“You don’t even love him.”

“No, but I liked him and that is enough.”

“That can’t be enough because it’s not enough for me. I need you by my side!” He yelled before grabbing my arm with his only hand and I felt a slight tremor. “I need you, Sakura.” He finished with a whisper and for the first time, I saw a small sense of vulnerability. It was hard to see, but after years with the Uchiha face, I knew. He was telling the truth.

“Sasuke…” Suddenly all the anger went out of me like a deflated balloon and I grew tired of it. Of fighting, of feeling hurt and of caring. Sasuke and I were not a good match. We were fire and water and our history together was only full of pain and neglect and confusion. For both of us. And this time, Sasuke was the one caught up in our bad history. And due to his apparent lack of a social life, our history was the only ‘love’ he knew. I had to end it now or we’d both continue to be trapped. So I said the famous words, “…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that. Sakura, don’t say it.”

“I —“

“Sakura!” He slammed me against the tree and I let him. Before it was the other way around, but now…I understood it was the right thing to do.

“We’re no good for each other, Sasuke. Look at our past! You only need me because you haven’t opened yourself up to other women, people who will be a match for you better than me. I’m trying to fix that and you need to let go.”

Sasuke’s face darkened as he held my gaze with burning eyes. “Sakura, like you said, I have no right to judge you, but you have no right to tell me how I feel. I just need you to give me a second chance and you’ll see what we had is still there.” Then he let me go and backed away. “You’ll see soon enough.” Without a word, he dashed away.

I leaned back against the tree with heavy shoulders. It took a while before I could collect myself. “Well, that didn’t go as planned.” First Akira ran off and now Sasuke pretty much confessed and I rejected him. Life never gave me a break, huh. I try to be good and trouble follows. No wonder Tsunade-Shishou worried if I carried her bad luck. Except…he said I’d see soon enough. What did that mean?

…One thing’s for sure. I definitely needed a drink. 

“Hey, Ino? It’s Sakura. You up for tonight?”

……………………………

………………………….

…………………………..

“What the hell am I doing here?” I sipped at my margarita in complete boredom. If it weren’t for stupid Sasuke making my life more complicated again, I wouldn’t even be here like a clueless virgin.

“Hey! You called ME remember?!” Ino slapped my arm playfully and pointed out prime specimen. “Now over by the bar is a jonin who might be your type. And he’s quite skilled, I heard. But if you want the sweet puppy type, the chuunin at 13:00 is quite romantic.”

“Ino, I knew your gossip network was scary, but how do you know all this?! That’s beyond a simple gossip mill you got running.”

Ino stuck her tongue out. “Hehe, Yamanaka Flower Shop is more than flowers, my dear. Now pay attention! It took me forever to convince you to go out after all those years you spent acting like a martyr. After hearing you left, Sas…Sorry, Sakura. Forget it.”

“No, it’s fine.” I downed my margarita. “What about Sasuke?” It might explain his sudden mood change.

“Well…he originally told us during his imprisonment that he would go on a long journey to atone for his sins, but when Naruto said he’d miss the both of you, he just snapped. Naruto had to explain you were coming back, but that you volunteered for the mission so they couldn’t force you back without causing resentment and issues between nations. And then…Sasuke left for a couple of years and came back. He said he was preparing for something but didn’t say much else and Naruto has been looking out for you since. Well, he already was, but Sasuke made it more imperative that more than one person was waiting for your return.”

“…” That’s a surprise. The way Ino said it made it seem like Sasuke was actually waiting for her all these years. That couldn’t be true. Maybe she heard the story wrong. “Who told you this?”

“Naruto. Sakura, I know Sasuke has gone astray for a while and he isn’t the most expressive man, but I do believe he wanted you home — all of us did.” Ino lightly covered my hand with her own. “I can understand why you needed to leave, but can’t you consider staying in Konoha? It doesn’t have to be with Sasuke. I missed you.”

“I’m sorry, Ino, I just needed to find myself. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I hugged her. “I’ll give it some thought, okay?”

“Don’t pressure yourself, Sakura. I understand. I heard what the rumors were and the pressure that was put on you. The unfair expectations. I’m just sorry that you needed to leave, but I’m glad that you did. You look so much happier, so much more confident. Just know I’m here for you always.” She hugged me back tight.

“I know. Thank you, Ino.” I teared up before I broke up the moment with a joke, “How does Sai feel about you hooking up guys for me?”

Ino snorted. “Please, he knows he’s the only one for me. I tried to make him jealous once. It didn’t work at first, but when I tell you how he was like at night…” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Let’s just say, he knows I’m not playing around anymore.”

“Wow. I wish I could have that.” I sighed feeling a slight buzz.

“This is why you need to go out and meet people! Trust me, there’s no harm in a little fun.” Ino paid the tab and dragged me to the dance floor. “Now let’s get you out of that hospital and back into the wider world. You won’t regret it!” 

I giggled as I moved to the beat, letting the alcohol do it’s wonders. Forget about Sasuke, forget about expectations and forget about my tragic love life. “Whoo!” 

Suddenly a couple of men danced next to us and one winked at me. “Hello, Ladies.” He spoke a bit loud to talk over the music. “You look beautiful! Fell from heavens, huh.”

I rolled my eyes in my head, but played along. “Yes, I’m an angel. Does that make you the big bad demon?” He danced a bit closer and soon we were within arms length of each other. The man came just a bit over my head, long blonde hair and soft brown eyes with a jawline to rival a model’s. 

“I have a few sins I could confess to you, angel.” He leaned closer until I could see myself in his eyes. “I’m a very, very bad man.”

I let the buzz relax me and felt the heat rise under my skin, the tense air between us. Just a step more and our lips would touch. Naruto was the only guy I kissed and that wasn’t saying much. It was like kissing my brother. And while Sasuke wanted to try something together, I couldn’t just throw away my pent up feelings, I couldn’t ignore the implications of his kiss that I was not ready for. But here…in this dark club with a stranger…There was no pressure, no implication. It was just a kiss. So I licked my lips and said, “How bad?”

He leaned in, just brushing my lips, **“Very.”**

And then — 

I vanished.

And in the next moment found myself on a random rooftop being carried in Sasuke’s arms. “What the fuck, Sasuke?!” I yelled as I squirmed out of his grasp while cursing out the cold air ramming into us as he ran. 

Sasuke tightened his hold on me and glared down before he stopped. Then on a random roof of some industrial building with only the night sky as our witness, Sasuke pressed his lips on mine with no warning.

“Mmph!” I pounded my fists on his chest but whether it was because of the alcohol, his scent or my own locked up feelings that broke out, I barely had any strength in my hits.

The heat of his lips contrasted with the chill night air and the buzz of alcohol all mixed into one toasty concoction. All I felt was a burning heat and I opened my mouth to breathe — and Sasuke stuck his tongue in. We battled with our tongues and I found myself weak with his touch as I fell into the kiss. When we finally parted to breathe, I was completely winded. 

Shit. Shitshitshit. This was NOT supposed to happen.

“Sakura.” Sasuke’s low voice snapped me out of my confusion. “You can’t pretend to not have felt something here.” I found myself staring at those wet lips and looked away in embarrassment.

“No, Sasuke. This was just a normal kiss. Now put me down and forget it.” Were kisses usually so absorbing? Addicting? No, no, no! It was just a kiss! “I’m sure you will find that out once you have more experience.” I pretended to act like a worldly woman who had lovers in seven seas — if Ino ever found out, she would never let me live it down. She’s probably having a riot in the club trying to find me.

Suddenly Sasuke’s grip on me tightened and he growled, “Who touched you? I will kill him.”

“What?! You can’t just go killing people!” Knowing Sasuke, that may not be a complete hyperbole. Just in case, “It’s none of your business! It was a long time ago anyway.” I lied.

“Oh? Then he must not have been any good if he couldn’t keep you around.” Sasuke moved to crush my arguments. “Sakura, I know you think we are bad together, but I can’t just let you go. I was a fool for a long time. Hit me, curse me, but don’t say you’ll leave me. Just don’t.”

“I…” I subtly leaned into the warmth of his chest as I wrapped my arms around myself. “The truth is Sasuke…I hate myself that loved you. That weak me has only been the shameful stain of my past. So no matter how much you think you love me, I can’t. I can’t go back to being that girl.” I looked into his eyes. “I refuse.”

No matter how good your kisses are. No matter how much I said I’m over you. I can’t go back to that life. To that me who cried at her reflection always unhappy. So I said the killer line,

“We need to move on, Sasuke.”

And I looked away expecting to be dropped off and left on this roof like I was left on that bench so long ago. But to my surprise, he pulled my chin back towards him — and I stared into his sharingan, the red orbs taking my consciousness away.

And everything faded to darkness.

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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Yo! WitchySkies here!

So cliffhangers, huh. 

Yeah, there were so many directions I could have gone with this, but since I promised to end it in the next chapter, here it is! Don’t worry there ain’t no extreme yandere stuff…but I won’t say more.

What do you think Sasuke will do?

I hope you enjoy this latest installment and please leave a review :)

See ya next time and stay safe out there,

WitchySkies!


	4. AfterStory: Whole Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Last One.

  
**Chapter Four: “Trusting You”**

“Love or Hate, Shame or Heal — We Either Change Or We Stagnate,  
I Will Never Be the Same From Five Years Ago.  
So Remember Who I was, But See Who I Am Now.”  
 **—The Future is Uncertain, but The Present is Mine—**

_—The Worth of Risking It All—_

_—Change is the Only Real Permanence in This World—_

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 _Gasp!_ I woke up in my bed. Well, looking closer, I woke up in the bed I used to have four years ago. I could tell because the frame was still broken from when I tried to ‘fix’ it with my strength.

Why was I here? Was everything a dream? Hell no. It was because Sasuke used his damn sharingan on me. “ **SASUKE!!!”** I roared angrily. **“COME FACE ME!!!”**

The bastard didn’t answer. Fuck. First he kidnapped me from the club then he used his sharingan on me and now ditched me? What the hell did he want from me?! 

“Sasuke has been acting strange ever since I got back to Konoha. I should have just ran off as soon as my mission ended no matter what Tsunade-Shishou said.” I vented as I got off the bed and searched the room — yep. Minimal furniture. No bag. This must be after I left then. Think, me, think! If I were Sasuke, why would I bring my ex-fangirl now obsession to the past? 

Fuck it. Sasuke was always mysterious mess when it came to the heart. When I was obsessed, I ruined my reputation. When he does it, people would pity the prodigy. Life wasn’t fucking fair.

I’d better just find him and make him release me. There was only one place he could be. The Konoha Prison.

I looked down at my hands. Would people in this world be able to see me? Nah. I jumped out the window. “I’ll find out sooner or later when I infiltrate the prison.” If the current Sasuke wasn’t answering, maybe his past self will tell me why the fuck I’d be in his head.

Darting through the village, I could see the battle damage after the last war. Buildings collapsed, and powerlines fell down. Even the ramen stand wasn’t spared. As more familiar sites came in view, places that were either long burned or renovated triggered memories I had long forgotten. Memories and old thoughts that came like slithering haunting whispers.

_You are weak…_   
_You’re an imposter…_

_…You haven’t changed Sakura…_

Slowly, the old depression started to return and my chest grew heavier under its weight. My steps slowed to a walk until slowly I stopped as the passerbys of Konoha walked right through me. Both here and in my life, I felt like a ghost once more. 

“No. Not again.” I sunk to my knees surrounded by old memories and my past self’s self-hatred. The bench where I laid alone…the academy where I was a foolish girl…the street corner where I waited for a ghost…the home where I smiled for everyone and felt nothing…Each place that was long demolished in the war or avoided now confronted me to my face like a visible stain of my history.

I couldn’t run from the ugly truths — The old me who worked endlessly to hide the lies that made up my life. The selfishness I covered through dedication. The sheer impossible gap between me and the rest of the shinobi world that became my defining feature among Konoha’s judging eyes until only recently. 

Standing in the Old Konoha in this dream world, I was once again the pitiful little girl that never would have caught up to the rest of Konoha without Tsunade-shishou’s help. I was once again “the weakest link.” The one who must be taken for granted to be okay because she “had no real worries”. The one who must support the men of her team “as the normal one.” The past I thought I left behind, the girl I tried to forget by leaving…she came back in full force like a pathetic shadow of my life. And everyone knew about her. 

I hated her. 

I felt the pull of downward spiraling thoughts tug at my sanity just like four years ago. Just like the night I left Konoha…and just like the past years that built up to that moment. Everything slowed like I was drowning in water with no way up. 

_Really Sakura? You’ve been weak your entire life. You really thought four years away would make that shame disappear? The shame of being helpless, of being foolish, of being useless. Konoha didn’t need anyone useless._

I knew it was just my perspective. I knew it could be hormones with self-imposed emotional neglect and a huge pile of imposter syndrome and coupled with a mild case of childhood trauma. I knew that others had it much worse than me and I shouldn’t feel this way — especially not as a shinobi. 

I knew it, but I couldn’t stop it’s suffocating embrace. And that alone was proof of my weakness. 

When I returned to Konoha, a lot of these old haunts were built over, re-made or just gone. The town I once knew had changed into a great city due to Naruto’s influence and those of the new era of hope. And in that new brilliant Konoha, I could escape my demons like I had when I devoted myself to my work and helping care for who I could help. I worked harder, traveled further and by the time I returned, nothing of the past was left — and what was, I avoided without a thought.

Was everything for naught? I tried. I tried very hard to get to where I was. I trained everyday and memorized every book I could. I made sure to do my duty and help as many patients I could. And those I couldn’t save were a reminder of how long of a journey I had to become a truly great healer. Their dead eyes reminded me of my failure to save them like how I couldn’t have saved my team, my family, from falling apart. The pain of the loved ones became the voices of my failures. And those failures became my pressure.

_You couldn’t even save your own team members from themselves, Sakura…You could have done more…You failure._

The breaking point happened was that time during the war when I stood on the side as Naruto and Sasuke decided to fight to the death. And while I was thankful they survived in the end, I also resented them. Seeing them throw their lives away freely while I struggled to make sense of mine was like a slap to my face. It felt like all my efforts of training to be by their side and make sure they stayed alive and came back home safe….it felt like they treated it as meaningless. It felt like they treated me as a joke.

A big fucking joke healer whose voice never reached their ears. 

And so, when they destroyed their arms, when the blood loss would have eventually claimed them if no one came to look for them, I stood and stared at them coldly. For that one second, I considered just forgetting it all - forgetting them as they forget me. But I went down to heal them…and I knew I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t stay in this place any longer. Even as Sasuke said sorry, I was already an empty person. Just like he was. 

So when the present Sasuke suddenly said he wanted to be with me, not only could I not truly believe it, but I also started to hate him. I tolerated and excused him all this time, but now that I can let go of him, he wanted to change. That wasn’t fair. He said he wanted me back? What the fuck. 

The innocent Sakura was considered weak. And now that I turned into what he valued the most — the heartless person who lived for their cause — suddenly he wanted me to remember the old Sakura, the little girl he despised?

I slowly got back to my feet as I gritted my teeth. The sadness, the burst of despressive weights that were summoned by the sight of old Konoha, slowly faded into a soft thrum under the surface of my mind. 

I remember everything now — the feelings that I locked up all those years ago, the shame I wanted to bury one hundred feet deep. I wanted to work myself away. I wanted to disappear into being useful and getting results, bringing others a happiness I could never truly grasp for all my strength. It was unreasonable, selfish and I…

I just wanted to disappear. 

And Sasuke wants me to suddenly become the lively Sakura he helped destroy? Did he really think stealing me away with his sharingan was going to change that? 

A small rage burned deep inside the well of sadness. The only thing stopping me from breaking completely was my will of fire. And I didn’t want to end up like the enemy we fought so hard to defeat — I didn’t want to end up as Pain. I owed Naruto too much to do that to him. And I owe myself. And so, like yin and yang, light and shadow, I fought to control the balance in my mind.

I continued running about the village as my past state of mind came back to taunt me, but this time I let anger fuel me to combat the sadness. I refused to look back at those dark times. 

Dash ——!!

Running past the houses and businesses, I saw medics dashing around to aid the slugs as I saw myself using Katsuyu to heal whoever I could 100 at a time. I jumped from a rooftop and landed right in front of myself. The Old Sakura who gave up on being part of Konoha. And I had to stop. 

We stood face-to-face. She couldn’t see me, she wasn’t real, but the detail was beyond impressive.

I could see the shadows under her tired green eyes, the determination to heal whoever she could, the passion for her work. I saw the blood on her hands, the frail-looking shoulders that kept up the army of slugs to heal — and the sobering sadness. 

But looking at myself from the outside, I didn’t see the weak woman who cried in the mirror, but a strong shinobi who just fought a war. A shinobi who was still fighting. Looking from the outside in, I saw the looks on the villagers faces, on my comrades’ faces as I healed them. I melded an arm together while my slugs heald cuts and stab wounds on others. 

Behind the other me, I saw a girl pointed at me and said to her mother, “Look, it’s the pink lady! She’s the doctor mommy!” The mother smiled, “Yes. She’s the best doctor there is.”

Meanwhile, a shinobi cried as his leg was put back together on his body with the help of a slug. “Thank you, Sakura. Thank you!” His shoulders shook while his friend rubbed his back in tears. “I-I have my leg back! Oh god.” He cried some more before the middle-aged man tried to kiss the slug who whacked him with an eye. “Ack!”

His friend shook his head but laughed as he joined in his cries. “We won the war, my friend! And we’re still here. Kami-sama has delivered a miracle!”

Then one by one, people looked at the other me while I completely focused on healing a giant gash across another man’s chest. Once I finished with one person, I ran to another, my hands glowing green non-stop. 

They looked at me with respect and gratitude. I was so focused on healing serious wounds, that I never noticed. I was so caught up in being compared to my stronger team members, that I couldn’t see others relied on me. It was different from the gazes of the past.

Suddenly, Sasuke’s voice said behind me, “You were the only one who kept us together, Sakura. I am only sorry that I never told you that.” But when I turned no one was there. I frowned but kept going. What was the purpose of Sasuke showing me this? And the details were incredible, I had to admit. Everything from my apartment to the graphic wounds I healed were spot on. Down to the scratches and sweat on my brow.

But…How did he know what my apartment looked like? The details were all there down to the dent in the sink. He’d never been inside when he joined us in the war…Actually, how did he see this scene? Unless he was there or accessed other peoples’ memories in order to see me —

Hold up. Why would he even do that?

“I won’t know until I confront him.” I murmurred as I changed my plans. If Sasuke was re-enacting his memories from straight after the war, then he wouldn’t be in the cells yet. In fact, after I finished healing him and Naruto, he should be…having a one-on-one talk with Naruto on the battlefield. 

I ran towards the battlefield, my thoughts racing while I darted past the wreckage of Konoha. Why did Sasuke bring me here? How did he hope to convince me to change my mind about him by using his power over me? He knows me better by now. All I wanted to do is punch his face in. 

The more I thought about the situation, the more I was confused. Sasuke wasn’t acting the way I remembered. He was stoic, cold and looked down on me because I weak. But now…

Now he was acting obsessed with me. It made me doubt if he was Sasuke at all. 

If I weren’t trapped in a freaking mental world caused by his bloodline, I would have found it easier to believe he wanted to teach me a lesson, mock me or thought I was an enemy. Basically, believing Sasuke hated me would be easier to believe than that he loved me so much that he refused to move on from the past.

What changed in the last four years?

Soon, I found myself where the main part of the battle ensued and saw my old teammates as expected. Sasuke stood in front of Naruto as they discussed the future. 

Naruto spoke, “I’ll have to take you in custody at first, but it’s only a matter of time before your release since you helped save Konoha in the war. It’s good to see you back, Sasuke.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Naruto only smiled. “I know. And besides, it’s Sakura you should be sorry to! She’s been waiting for you.”

Mortified at what that implied, I dragged my hand down my face. I wanted to run away from this scene in embarrassment. Shit, just kill me. Way to bring up my past self’s image, Naruto-baka!

Sasuke lowered his eyes. “Do you think so? She might have changed since then.”

“Huh? Sakura-chan? She’s gotten insanely strong, sure, but she’s Sakura! The one who has been by our side since day one. What makes you say that?”

Sasuke paused then spoke softly, “…It was in her eyes. She had the same eyes I had. She looked ready to leave it all behind.”

Naruto frowned then patted his shoulder, “I’m sure she is just tired. After all, she is healing several hundred people all by herself. I’m sure you two just need time to talk. She can come visit you if she’s too busy tonight and talk.”

“Hn.” He nodded and they left. Soon after, he went into custody and by then I had already left the village after making sure my work was done. 

Just then, a familiar presence appeared behind me and I turned around un-surprised. “Was this why you sent me here, Sasuke? To see your memories?”

The present Sasuke stood right behind me and I had to look up a bit to reach his gaze. He was too close. I stepped back a bit and narrowed my eyes. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t punch you back into Kaguya’s dimension.” I cracked my knuckles.

“Aren’t you curious about me? About you?”

“Not anymore.”

“Sakura,” He stepped closer and gently held my cheek before I slapped it away. With a slight frown, he dropped his arm and said, “I ran away from you like a fool, but please…don’t run from me. I’m sorry to say that I let my goal of revenge blind me to what I had and my action hurt you. Please let me explain myself.”

At first, I wanted to break his wrist and demand he let me return to my normal life. I wanted to beat him to a pulp. But then I looked into those eyes that were vulnerable for the first time since I’ve known him…and I couldn’t find the heart to destroy that. I sighed. “Speak.”

“It’s better if I show you.” Then Sasuke snapped his fingers and suddenly we were in the prison cells — Once more Naruto was sitting in front of a younger Sasuke completely wrapped up in a white suit build to prevent the use of jutsus. “I never truly understood what I lost until this moment.” 

Present Sasuke looked straight at the scene and I followed suit to focus on the moment. 

Naruto looked sad with his shoulders hunched over and said, “So you’re really going after this? Promise you’ll return?”

Past Sasuke nodded. “I have to atone for my sins. I’ll be gone for three years I think. There are things I need to make up for or I don’t the right to live in the village we and Itachi sacrificed too much to save.”

Naruto sighed, the youthful boy beginning to look older. “Three years huh? I’ll miss the both of you.”

“Both?” Sasuke raised his head and leaned forward. “Who else is missing?”

“Ah, no, she’s not missing, she’s on a mission.” Naruto rubbed his forehead. “You see, Sakura already left for a mission for the next four years. She left as soon as she finished healing everyone after the war — just ran off into the night! I wish I could have saw her at least. If I had known, I would have stopped her.”

“What do you mean she’s gone for the next four years? That’s not normal. Does she even plan on returning to Konoha?” Sasuke seethed out. “Who made her go on that mission, Naruto?”

“No one made her, Sasuke.” Naruto’s eyes widened at his friend’s rare show of emotion. “She volunteered. She left a note saying she’ll be back soon, but…now that I think about it…it was very vague. Do you think she’s lying?!” Naruto finally grasped the odd wording of the letter compared to the nature of her mission. Since when was four years considered ‘coming back soon’? “Why, Sakura-chan?!” He wailed.

At that point, the present Sasuke turned to glare at me and I had to look away for a second in guilt. I pursed my lips in defiance though and focused back on the past selves’ conversation. 

“I should have known as soon as I saw her eyes. I knew it. She was leaving!” Sasuke roared, “You have to bring her back. I have a bad feeling about this.”

“I can’t just do that! Tsunade already approved her request and the other nations are already expecting her especially since she has Tsunade-baa-chan’s prized medical knowledge. If we suddenly take her back, they’ll assume we don’t want to share our high level medical jutsus in the knowledge exchange and it’ll mess up our relations.” He moaned. “You think I haven’t thought of this?”

“Tch! Fine. Naruto, you idiot, keep a look out for any strange paperwork. If Sakura is trying to do what I think she is, then she knows she can’t get approval from you or Tsunade. Make sure to watch the paperwork in all the departments at the Hokage office — she might apply for a mission extension. If she plays it smart, she could have someone approve it in secret and that’d be the end of the matter. Do not let her get away!”

This time I stared at the present Sasuke in shock. It was one thing to hear it from Ino, but quite another to see it in person. “This is very out of character for you, Sasuke.”

Present Sasuke held my stare and said, “It was a surprise to me too. Back then, I had wanted to just kill everybody and get rid of every attachment to Konoha, but I wasn’t completely turned yet. And in those rare moments I doubted myself, I would think of that idiot and I would think of you. It took me a long time to realize why, but when Naruto revealed you _left_ Konoha, I just snapped.” He lowered his eyes. “I had taken it for granted that you would stay in Konoha for the rest of your life. I thought I had time. I assumed you would keep waiting for me. And it wasn’t until I investigated your old apartment that I realized the small details and what you bottled up inside. It was a while before I realized how you must have felt.”

“Wait, wait.” I held up a hand. “You went into my apartment?! When?”

“As soon as I was released from prison. I noticed the bent sink, residue of oil on your mirror — I imagined you laid your head on there a lot — and the little broken things around the home. Naruto somehow managed to prevent the apartment from being rented for a few months, don’t ask me how, and so it was still in it’s old state. After that, I investigated people who might have gone in contact with you. I wanted to find clues on why you left.”

“I feel like I was just investigated by the police.” I rubbed my forehead in exhaustion. “I…this is a lot to take in. I just can not imagine you going so far for me.”

“There is a lot you don’t know about me, Sakura. My feelings especially.” Suddenly the prison scene faded and Sasuke held my shoulders. We were in an empty space, a world filled with only gray. “Sakura, I am an Uchiha. When I re-animated the old Hokages, it was revealed that as Uchiha, we are dangerous because we feel more than the normal person. When we love, we love deeply. But when we hate, we hate just as deep. There is no in-between for us.” His eyes turned crazed as he tightened his hold. “So the ones I wanted to hate the most were also the ones I loved the most. I do not mean the bloody hate I have for another enemy, but the deep hate that comes from those you know can reach your vulnerabilities, get under your skin, become your weakness. Do you get it now? You are in my head Sakura. And now I see why I couldn’t let you close to me. You were just…so hateful. I couldn’t stand it!”

“Sasuke, you’re not making any sense!” I yelled. “If you want a fight —“ I channeled my chakra in my hands and shoved him, but he held on fiercely.

 **“Damn it, Sakura! I love you and I can’t just let you go! Don’t you get it?!”** He roared then took deep breaths to calm himself. “I hated you because I loved you and I foolishly thought that was a weakness. As an Uchiha, my power derives from my hatred and you were in the way of that.”

I stopped shoving and just stared at his face in wonder…and just shock. WHAT?! “Th-That has to be the most intimidating confession I ever had in my life.”

“Sakura! I’m serious.”

“I know.” My heart felt like a boiling pot of conflicted emotions. Hate, Love, Regret, Thrill, Resentment, Confusion…all of it were jumbled together and I didn’t know whether I wanted to kiss him or kill him or just run away from everything again. “But you have to understand. I spent half my life in love with you — crush or not, I don’t know — and then the other half trying to forget you. I like who I became, I like feeling strong and free with my life…and the young me who loved you was only someone who was hated. Weak. Ignorant.” I grabbed his shirt and pulled him down until we were eye-to-eye. Until we were equals.

“Loving you isn’t just a matter of emotions, Sasuke. It’s a matter of whether the Sakura that loves you is the Sakura I want to be. And whether we are equals in our relationship if there is one at all.” I snarled at him. “So don’t just think pushing your love on me is enough. As mine certainly wasn’t.”

We glared at each other, his eyes heating up as mine flared up in defiance, and he smiled. “Then it is a challenge.”

“No. It means I’m going to live on my own.”

“Then why is your heart beating so hard?” He leaned in closer. “I understand your request. I will earn your heart back — the current you. I won’t give up. That also means I won’t just let other men take you either.”

“First, that’s wrong. And second, my heart isn’t beating hard!” I felt the heat in my cheeks but I tried to cool down. Aggravatingly, it didn’t work.

“I have good hearing, Sakura.” Then he smiled before brushing his lips on mine. Before I could react, he already stepped back and said in a low voice, “I despise the foolish youth I was as well, Sakura, but that is besides the point. I have what I need to know now.”

“I am still a part of your heart or you wouldn’t be so conflicted. Then I will prove that I shall stay a part of you. And you will see we are meant to be together. After all…”

He snapped his fingers and once more I began to lose consciousness…

**“The fire runs deep in the Uchiha.”**

………………………

…………………..

……………………..

By the time I woke up, it was already daytime. I found myself in my bed once more — my real bed in my present time with my heels thrown off to the side and a glass of water on my bedside table. If I still feel the tingle of his lips on mine, I would have chalked up the whole night as a dream.

I could only sit up in my bed and consider Sasuke’s cryptic words. And my heart once again betrayed me. 

“Fuck.”

After that, began a series of events that made me wonder if I jumped into another genjutsu. While I still worked long hours at the Konoha Hospital, Sasuke would be waiting for me after work as if it were the most natural thing in the world. When I questioned if he was going to continue his long journey, he merely mentioned that there was a time and place for everything. Soon, I would see him everywhere — when I went to Ino’s for lunch, when I tried to train in an isolated part of the forest, when I even slept in my office at work — he would find an excuse to visit.

The more I ran away, the more he chased. I almost considered sending in an application for him to visit a psychologist. Finally one afternoon, I walked over to a deserted part of the Konoha Training Grounds and called out, “Sasuke! I know you’re here. Come out already. Don’t use Kakashi’s lines of saving cats again. Damn sensei was giving you all these ideas, am I right?”

Sure enough, teleported Sasuke appeared in front of me. “Hello, Sakura.” If I didn’t know any better, I’d think this version of Sasuke would be mature, with his longer bangs and calmer eyes. Well that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“You’ve been stalking me for weeks already. Aren’t you tired? Surely the Uchiha pride is being bent out of shape by now.” I held my hands on my hips. 

“The Uchiha, as I’ve discovered recently, are actually quite passionate with their lovers. So you don’t need to worry about my pride. If you must care, then just accept me.”

“Argh! You’re so aggravating! You think I’m going to just change my mind like that?” 

“No, I can attest to your stubborness. But I have one way.”

“And what could that be? Brainwashing? Acting like Jiraiya? I know you’ve been talking with Kakashi.”

“It’s simple.” Suddenly his eyes burned with a inner fire. “You hate me, Sakura. I understand that. I hated Naruto so I understand. That won’t sway me. I figured since you are not like most kunoichi, I will prove my intent. I’ll fight you.”

“….What? Fight? Are you mistaking love for war or bromance?!” I was officially duped. That was it. Sasuke had been drugged or poisoned. There was no other way to explain this phenomenon. “Or are you into chicks that hate you now?”

“Come! Let’s do this!” Immediately, he ignored my taunts and leaped at me. I blocked the attack with my fist on reflex before returning the present. We leapt back and eyed each other. I began to smirk, “Well I don’t get you anymore Sasuke, but I won’t say no to beating your ass.” My aggravation over the past few weeks completely burst out of me and I punched the ground — and let the earth crumble before him in a mini earthquake.

BOOM!!!

Sasuke jumped into the sky and I immediately threw out multiple kunai as I launched at him, fist raised. “SHANAROOO!!!” No matter what, I focused on his feet and had to judge his next move as Guy did. He probably wouldn’t use his bloodline on me in our fight, but it was better to be prepared.

He used a fire jutsu and I immediately countered with a water jutsu as we both clashed and fell back to the earth. I yelled out, “Hey! Since this would take a while otherwise, shall we limit ourselves to taijutsu?” I cracked my knuckles.

“Hn. Very well. I agree that we would be late for dinner if we don’t limit ourselves.” As if it were only natural that we’d go out for dinner after this, he agreed to my proposal.

I frowned. “I never agreed to dinner!”

He only smirked, “Then I’ll just happen to sit next to you.” He dashed forward and within a blink of an eye, raised his fist in attack.

I grinned as adrenaline pumped through me. “Not if you’re in the hospital.” I also began my attack and soon our limbs were impossible to see as we began our flurry of attacks. I punched, he kicked. He tried for a headlock, I released myself. I relied on the flexible yet brute attacks while he used fluid and disarming attacks. Without using our powerful jutsus, we fought hand-to-hand as equals.

While he was known for his chidori and sharingan and such, Sasuke packed a hard punch and the fighting experience to match. I had to confess I had a bit of fun.

Feeling more enthusiastic about our fight, I let myself enter the zone as I fought back harder, fiercer. Each hit of my mine aimed with enough force to break bones — and that’s with very little use of my chakra. 

Sasuke on his part countered every one of my attacks, dodging like a snake then striking like an eagle. Due to his long journey training with different criminal factions, he had gained techniques that Konoha could never teach. Dodging his attacks was like fighting in a fog — you never knew where the next one came from.

My brute strength and fierce stamina vs Sasuke’s fluid attacks and striking fighting experiences. The earth rumbled and the trees collapsed during our onslaught. Tsunade-shishou would have a headache repairing the training ground this time…

Then suddenly Sasuke left an opening and thinking it was just a bait, I took it to see his next move. 

CRACK.

“S…Sasuke?!” I froze in fear as my fist rammed into his chest and I could hear his ribs crack. “Why? Y-You should have blocked this easily!” I screamed before I caught him and laid him on the ground gently. Shit. This wasn’t what I wanted!!

“See? Told you.” He smiled as blood dripped from his lips. “I’ll sway your heart.”

“Stop acting crazy! This isn’t funny!” I immediately began to heal him and let my green chakra completely cover him, but there was so much blood. I didn’t hold back my strength at all since he would usually block me so his bones were but fragments barely holding on. If I just pushed one step further, he’d be immobile. “Why?!”

He held my wrist and stopped me. “I have a lot of sins, Sakura. And I wanted to give you the choice — you can let me live or you can kill me. It is what I owe you after all those years. My life is yours.”

“H-Hey, this is madness.” My hand trembled at the pool of blood. “Let me heal you!” I made him let go and went back to work on healing. “This could easily put you in the hospital for weeks!” This could have killed you.!

As much as I wanted to see Sasuke fall, I never wanted him dead. No matter how much I raged at him, hated him, resented him…I never truly wanted to hurt him.

“I know. And I know you won’t let me die. But I wanted you to know that I’m serious about what I said. My life is yours whether you want to try again or not. The only one I’ll partner with is you.”

“And you wanted to prove that by having me almost kill you?!” I screamed. “That’s not fair, Sasuke!”

He only smiled. “I’d die for you, Sakura. I just wanted you to believe me. I trust in your ability to heal, too, so I’m not worried. Tch.” He grimaced in pain when he moved an inch.

Unbidden, hot tears fell from my eyes at the familiar sight. From our genin days to now, I was always covered in his blood, putting him back together. He…was such a fool. “I’m always healing you, bastard. Now stay still.” I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. This relationship was a completely mess, but…I…I felt a tiny bit touched. “Stupid.” Sniff.

“I’m sorry - No.” He corrected himself. “Thank you. Really, thank you, Sakura.”

I sobbed. “You’re a real bastard.” I could feel that his bones were coming back together although my body was getting drained — much more drained than when we fought. 

“I know.”

“What am I supposed to do now? I feel so stupid.” Almost there…

“You’re not stupid. And as for your question, you said it yourself. We should move on…together.” His brows relaxed as I finished healing and I could sense his heart wasn’t beating as fast anymore — the pain had ceased.

“Sly. Stupid. I hate you. I hate you!” I cried as I finished up healing him and the wound disappeared. Then I beat his chest with my fists myself. I knew my handiwork and I was confident he was back to normal. 

Sure enough, Sasuke just took the hits with a laugh and pulled me on top of him, wrapping his arms tight around me. “I know. And thank you.”

“I…I…” I cried into this chest as the fight went out of me. How dare he ruin my plans. I was going to start a new life, somewhere far away, forgetting any notion of love — and he just ruined everything! “I…really hate you.”

“I love you, too.” He kissed my hair and I could feel his lips form a smile as he held me tight. “Can’t we try again?”

I sniffled again and whispered, ”We…” I sighed. “We can try. Kami-sama knows you’d only keep annoying me. You better not betray me or I’ll have to kill you.”

“My life is yours.” Then he captured my lips once again.

………………………

…………………..

……………………..

After that day on the training grounds, Sasuke and I tried dating officially. At first it was a bit weird to be so intimate with the man, but that slowly changed as I realized that the young Sasuke I knew, and even the Sasuke from four years ago, were different from now. Just how I was different. It took a few months of reflection before I even reached that realization. After that epiphany, I finally allowed myself to start a clean slate…and Sasuke was true to his word. At first it was just dinners, but then it became…closer. Secret kisses in the dark, a slight hug in passing, much conversation over wine. 

But we never went further than that. And I was seriously beginning to wonder if it was my inexperience or his. I wasn’t like the preteen youth who couldn’t handle a kiss, but I wasn’t exactly confident in bedside manners. It didn’t help that I had no one to confide in — especially Ino. I loved her, but she would have too much fun with me. It got to the point that I began to worry if I should just hire someone from the red light district and just ask for tips without doing anything, drastic as that sounded. 

Emotional issues aside, I still never implemented my sexual exploration idea. And I think it was still too early to ask that of Sasuke with our dating status being so new. I didn’t want to rush things with him. I guess my worry *cough* horniness *cough* was showing on my face because Naruto ended up inviting us out for a drink at the bar instead of the usual hangout at the ramen stand. And since he offered to pay, I took him up on it and drank my worries away!

…Five bottles of sake later…

“Ne, Sakura-chan? Maybe you should stop. You’re acting like Tsunade-baa-chan!” Naruto grabbed my cup and motioned to Sasuke. “You should get some rest. Right, Sasuke?”

“Right.” But then Sasuke had a deep flush on his face and I wondered if he had the same thoughts as me. He usually never drank. What could be worrying him?

“Uh…How much did you drink, Sasuke?”

“I didn’t.” He glared at us, but those red cheeks and the couple of broken bottles hidden behind him said otherwise. “I’ll take her home.”

“Wait, I —“ Naruto was probably going to offer to escort us, but Sasuke already carried me in his arms. “…Well, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” The blonde scratched his nose before smiling to himself and I heard a soft whisper, “It’s good to see them together finally.” 

Before I could respond, Sasuke whisked me away to my apartment.

After that…I must have been horny as fuck because I went wild. After that night, I refused to drink beyond one bottle of sake, but that was a different story. That night, I realized that my twisted view of the world was beyond help as I began to overpower Sasuke.

While I was tucked in bed gently, I immediately kicked off the sheet and grabbed Sasuke’s collar. Pulling him down, I turned us over so I was on top. A heat coursed through my body as I smelled his scenet and let the buzz loosen my morals. With both my arms aside of him, I said, “I wanted to take my time with you, Sasuke. I wanted to take things slow…but I’ve had enough.” With a lick of my lips, I held his chin up as I gazed down at him like a lioness on the prowl. “Wanna know a secret~?”

Sasuke merely held my gaze stoically and said, “What may that be?” His face was neutral, but his eyes said otherwise.

“If we weren’t together, I was planning on exploring. You know? It was going to be my social experiment…testing…” I ran my finger down his nose. “A woman’s sexual power.” 

Sasuke gulped. “What’s stopping you?”

“Simple. You piss me off.” I leaned in to his ear, “Do you really love me? You haven’t touched me beyond a kiss since we dated. Having regrets, Sa-su-ke-kun?” I growled out the last part before grabbing his neck and softly massaged it with my hand. “Do you?” My voice chilled.

“I regret nothing. Why do you think that? Because I wouldn’t touch you? You’re wrong.” Sasuke frowned then grabbed my waist and pulled me closer, not minding my hand on his neck. “I just didn’t want to scare you off, but now I see that was foolish of me. We have the same desires, Sakura.” He pressed his fingers in the waist and rubbed circles with his thumb. “As for your…experiment…then use me. Use all of me. I will follow your every desire.” A fire loomed in those obisidian eyes.

This time I gulped as my throat turned dry. I wanted to just bite those snarky lips of his, but I found myself sobering enough to say, “Before we continue, I need you to know that I am not looking for anything serious yet. I accept your feelings, but I can’t rush mine. So right now I just want to try things with you, but if you feel like this is too soon, then stop me now. I am attracted to you, driven mad by you and I want to feel you as much as I want to throttle you — but I just want to feel our future out. If you’re expecting something concrete from my heart right now, then I’ll wait until we know our relationship more. So what do you say?”

“Sakura, I am not a boy who can’t handle his feelings anymore. You don’t have to worry about my heart. I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes, but I won’t let you be lured by any parasites neither.” He pulled me to his lips as he said, “I want you, so if you’ll have me…then come.”

A warm tingle ran down my spine and I gave in to my desire…

After I leaned in for the kiss, my mind turned blank as the night grew long. Whether it was the sake, the confessions or my own sensitivity — the night came in bits of intense moments and a white haze, but what I did remember made me hot. Like a caged beast which finally broke free, I found myself consumed by lust and underneath that a dark part of my heart began to play. 

I watched as Sasuke was under my hands, that once cold face morphed into uncontained pleasure and a dark thrill coursed in my veins. Now that I was on top of the man who both broke me down and compelled me to gain power, now that he was under my touch and weakened by the pleasure I gave…a wicked thought seduced me. 

I want to see you lose control, I want to see those stone cold eyes tear up, I want to see you…whimper.

I licked my lips as I tore off his clothes. I guess Sasuke saw my desire to dominate him because he smiled wickedly, eyes dancing, as he said, “Come and take me if you can. Show me your true strength, Sakura.”

And I lost myself to the dark urges I always held a lock on until now. Like two demons in the night, we held each other, pulled and went mad. I growled as I bit into that neck, in the exact spot where his cursed seal used to be, and claimed that skin for my own. “Sasuke,” I breathed out, “If you ever leave me for another power-trip again, I will break your bones, heal them then break them again and again for your betrayal. And I will make sure no one will find you until I’m ready to let you go. Do you understand?”

Sasuke gave a sexy grin of his own and pulled my neck down to lick it from base to ear, “Loud and clear.” He trailed his hands down my sides before entering me for the nth thime that night, losing himself as I did. “Leave your mark on me, Sakura and I will leave mine.” Then he bit into my neck just enough to taste blood before licking it. 

The air was hot, his touch electric and I wanted to claim him, own him and make sure he knew who he was dealing with it. Under the lusty haze, a small innocent part of me still lingered, wondering whether this was normal, whether I should be dominating my lover, whether Sasuke always wanted to be overwhelmed — but I embraced our darkness anyway. “You are mine, Sasuke.” I wrapped my hands lightly around his throat like a beast. “Don’t regret this.”

Sasuke merely looked at me with heated eyes and wrapped his arms tight around me as he thrust inside me over and over. One hand trailed up to the back of my neck and he pulled down to his lips, his eyes not leaving mine with a bit of a challenge. “Make me yours, Sakura.”

I narrowed my eyes before biting his lips and let my hands loosen from his throat — we were still too new at this, I need to research — before I grabbed the back of head, pulling his hair slightly as our tongues danced. I felt him twitch and move under me, our bare skin tingling like two flames joining together, and I heard his soft moan and grunt as I squeezed — and with that, he came inside again.

We explored our bodies that night — testing our limits, freeing our darker urges. The more I revealed the darker Sakura who pushed herself too hard, the one who sought dominate him, the more Sasuke stiffened under my touch then melted. It was an addicting game I could never get tired of, watching his expressions change against his will as he left his desires free.

It was a long time until we finally rested and then the morning came…

I snuggled into something warm and when I opened my eyes, Sasuke was staring down at me cradled against his chest. He looked calm, settled, appeased. The complete opposite of ourselves last night. And despite my forwardness on the bed, I immediately stiffened up and blushed before hiding my face as the memories flashed through my mind in graphic detail.

Sasuke laughed, a deep rhythmic laugh that vibrated against my head, and brushed his fingers on my hair before flicking my forehead. “Good morning, Sakura.”

I contined to blush and looked away before nuzzling my face into his chest. It may take a while before I became as confident in my body as I was last night, but this was a start. And a rare peace spread in my heart. “Good morning, Sasuke.”

Our relationship was dark, messy and frankly surprising. Several years ago we were enemy shinobi and I just wanted to return him to Konoha before getting away from it all. Then I find out he’s been trying to chase me. Now we’re just in that inbetween space where everything could go absolutely wrong…or absolutely right.

For two completely opposite shinobi who had tried to kill each other a few times, for some reason, it ended up working out. Not too hot, not too cold. As long as Sasuke was true to his word, I could begin to let my love for him grow instead of seeking to burn it away. If he didn’t succumb to his demons again. If I didn’t. There were many if’s…but I had a feeling it might be worth the risk this time.

Only time could tell.

So I smiled then looked up into Sasuke’s eyes and asked, “So what’s for breakfast?”

  
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EPILOGUE: 

One year later…

“You know, Sasuke, I would understand if you needed to focus on your missions. I’m already married to you and I have Sarada now so we’ll be fine. Just don’t forget to write me when you go.” I spoke as I cradled our baby in my arms. While I decided to let my love for Sasuke grow and married the man, I knew what his priority needed to be. As a medic nin myself, I could understand the work-life balance issue. “So don’t worry.”

“Sakura…Do you still not believe in me?” Sasuke whined a bit as he held our daughter’s hand gently. Then he grabbed my chin to look at his stern face. “I know the emotional damage I brought to you is still healing, but please have more faith in me. I won’t just abandon you with our daughter. You tried to leave Konoha before. I’m not going to let you be estranged from me now. I won’t let you get away so easily.” His dark eyes trapped mine and I couldn’t help but smile.

Huh. I guess my past four year disappearance made him insecure. He still was nervous about me staying, hm? Well, we are still newlywed so I better reassure his feelings. Sasuke may have been cold in public for the most part, but he still had that fiery side and he expressed it in bed more than not. As for dealing with the rest of his emotions — he was working on it. Having his first child must be unnerving for him. “Sasuke, dear, I wouldn’t have married you if I planned on leaving you or being estranged. You can trust me on that. But you have your work and your missions to attend to and I won’t have you resent me for stopping you. It may not be now, but one day, Sasuke, you will. So go do your thing.” 

If someone told teenage me I’d be actively telling my husband to work more instead of stay with me, I would have thought they were insane. And while I am happy to be married to Sasuke, I knew the newlywed stage will only last as long as there was nothing limiting our future growth. For him and for me. To take away his mission would be to tell me not to work in the hospital. “I say this because I believe in us. But I won’t let our marriage be based off emotions without a good foundation. So go do what you need to for Konoha. I’ll be here waiting — or scolding patients haha.” I laughed at my own joke and Sasuke sighed.

“I’ll visit you whenever I can and I will write to you.” Sasuke nuzzled his face in my neck for a bit. “So don’t push me away, okay?”

“I stopped doing that a long time ago, Sasuke. Or do you not see our cute Sarada sleeping in my arms? There’s no way she’d even exist if I didn’t want to stay with you.”

Sasuke smiled as he gazed at our baby then leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Thank you, Sakura. Thank you for being my home.” Then he turned back to me and his eyes softened. “I love you. Please remember that. I’m sorry that I can’t show it like Naruto does, but I do.”

“I know, Sasuke. I love you, too.”

And so, I leaned against Sasuke’s chest as we gazed at our child, our hope and our future. The dark whispers in my mind faded to dust and a new light entered my heart. I felt lighter, happier…

I felt free. Free from the labels of my past, free from the fears for the future. I have someone to protect and someone at my side. And I look forward to seeing how all of us grow along with ever-changing Konoha. 

“I’m home.”

  
**THE END.**

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** AUTHOR NOTE: **

  
Wassup Ninjas?! That’s the end of this story!

That was like a super loooong chapter. Much longer than I planned hahaha.

***Warning: Rant ahead***It’s a bit ‘what if’ ending so Sasuke spends more time with Sarada in this ending. Cause to be honest while I was excited to see how everyone’s kids would look like in Boruto, the whole thing with Sakura having no fucking clue where her man went for a dozen years pissed me off. Even more so when Naruto is like ‘wassup me man!’ chilling with Sasuke on trees and that kind of made me mad at the creator god, but that’s life. Like, dude, you couldn’t send your wife a fucking letter? Also cause I love Naruto’s family but Sakura’s family life was like “yo, we need everyone to suffer a bit so the children can have relatable tragic backstories — Naruto’s gen was just cooler so do your best sakura to activate sarada’s sharingan”. ……….I love Naruto, but damn it! They couldn’t have gotten their tragic backstories by going on missions and growing as people instead of ‘insta-tragedy’??? I’m happy Sakura and Sasuke finally got their family moments later tho.  
And…I’ll be blasphemous and just say this (I know someone is gonna try send a dementor after me)….I feel like the females in Naruto had so much fucking awesome potential, but that potential fell short. Just a bit. Maybe that’s why I write slightly crack, mostly ooc fanfics lololol. Or I could just be super picky cause I love badass females who have men chase them not vice-versa (ya know, this might be time for a therapist lol). That said, Naruto is AWESOME and I love that story, but I just wish Sakura had more badass scenes. I love her too much.  
***Rant fin***

PHEW!!! Now my rant is over and I did my teen self justice so back to happy sakura fanfic writing! (I say after writing an angsty story…)

SO. I wanted to give Sakura-chan a better ending even if there is angst (cause let’s face it, Sasuke was more like madara than Itachi. I love Itachi. But sasusaku has been on my mind since I first saw the anime, so I wrote this bad boy). And it’s a bit of ooc (obvi), but I enjoyed writing this story and I hope you had a good time reading it. (Also, I think I may be more sadistic as a writer than I imagined…if I had time, I’d soooo be getting more yandere, but maybe it’s a good thing I put a limit huh. LOL)

One thing to say of the sakusasu relationship — if I ever wrote another one, it’d be ooc or something is changed. Because if I ever TRIED to write it with more canon stuff….I’d be going totally yandere on Sasuke. Like, the more avoidant and asshole-y a guy is, the more I want to write him to suffer. I need to control that power dynamic (Jeez, I should just go watch Hazbin Hotel and call it a day. I started off this author note with the attitude of Happy Gon, but then ended up acting like Angry Killua. Or just Gon *I won’t say more*).

Hope you enjoyed this story and please leave a review! Was it super dark, not dark enough — or what do you guys think of an ooc Sakura badass and making Sasuke go full yandere? Cause now that it’s in my head…that is just. So. Tempting. *Gets doused in holy water by new otaku*

Much love,

WitchySkies


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